For the month of October 2019 our "Mat Chats" for the kids and teens class was on Confidence. I wanted to share a chapter of my book Unleash The Leader Within on the subject.
Self image (confidence)
Is the key
Being able to see yourself as a leader or even being good at something can be a very hard thing to do. When I was a kid and still today I am generally the shortest person in the room. Does it bother me? Not at all. I guess when I was really young I just accepted it because in reality there's absolutely nothing I can do about it anyway. I could dwell on the fact that I’m short but the only person it would hurt would be myself. No one else seems to really care. Are there challenges? Well of course there are. Everyone has some sort of challenge in everyday life don't they? Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Each one of us are unique in our own special way but it is our strengths, our talents that are the very essence of our personalities. We hide our weaknesses so that no one ever see’s that part of us. Why on earth do we do that? The reason of course is that we care too much about what other people think of us. How you see yourself, your self image is key. It must never be about someone else's opinion of you. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but as a matter of fact it is just that, an opinion. You know yourself better than anyone. Your opinion of yourself must be positive and rock solid if you want to unleash the leader within. Let's begin with your strengths. Your specific set of talents are what make you unique. There is a precise and direct connection between your talents and your accomplishments in your life so far. What characteristics or traits do you feel are your strongest? Can you make people laugh? Can you multitask? Are you persistent? Think of your success so far as a straight line. Up until this very point it has it has been on a slow gradual incline. Keep doing the same things and that line will still gradually go up over a long period of time. It may very well even level off. //////Make a list of what you feel are your strengths. Not what others may think but what you think are your best qualities. Take your time and really think about it. There may be certain things you are extremely good at but don't necessarily recognize right away because they are second nature.
Now let's turn to your weaknesses. Your weaknesses are where the gold is. Wait, What? You may be asking yourself, “Did I just read that right”? Yes, you read correctly! There was no typo there. Your weaknesses are exactly where the leader within you is hiding. Your innate talents and learned abilities that you have right now have brought you to where you are right now. Keep doing the same thing and keep getting the same results right? In order to progress and get different, even better results we must look at the characteristics and traits that are not our strong suits. These are in fact the exact barriers that will keep you from where you want to be. Think about it this way. You have made it this far on all of your strengths. Your job, your career, your life has been built solidly on your strengths alone. Think of that gradual incline of success again. Working diligently on your weaknesses will make that line jump straight up exponentially. That's what we want.
Learning something new and different can be challenging to say the least. I know, I’ve seen it time and time again. At my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy kids and adults come in and try to do basic drills, movements, and techniques. It’s very difficult at first because they have never done it before. All of the drills have weird names and feel really strange yet everyone else seems to be really proficient at them because they have put in the work to learn them making the new student feel out of place. There my friend is the secret. Did you see it? The secret to developing unstoppable confidence. The kind of self image that great leaders have!
There it is again. That dirty little four letter word. Let me drive home the importance of working on your weaknesses. One day a young kid started Jiu-Jitsu at our Academy. He was very smart and intelligent. He had excellent manners and a supreme attitude. He had all of the building blocks of a leader. Something was missing. What he lacked was rock solid confidence. His self image was not up to par even though he had every other quality needed to be a great leader. He came to every class within the last year. At first he was shy about grappling with kids bigger than him. He didn't give up. He would get beat and come back for more. I watched as he focused on the techniques I would teach class after class. His grappling became better. He started to win a few more matches. As he began to win more his confidence grew. His self image was growing. What was his secret? What helped him grow his self image? He worked on his weaknesses. His new found confidence coupled with his already amazing talents catapulted him to new heights. I am proud to say he was awarded the 2016 Warrior Spirit Award for our Academy.
Unleash The Leader Within can be purchased at Amazon